Saturday breakfast

It's something about Saturday's breakfast... It's so relaxing to know you don't have to rush somewhere and everything tastes a bit better...

Scrambled eggs is goooooood!

My little girl looks like a cute little boy, 

that's what happens when she spends the night at grand dad and his wife...

That it ended in a big poop disaster is a different story that I wont bother you with today...

Ergobaby...

With the baby in my Ergobaby and tons of groceries in the stroller I really don't need a car!

 Andréa likes it in the Ergobaby, here on my back...

 4 bags of groceries and a few items on the side...

There! Groceries to last for few days at least... Tonight I'm making "Drömskinka" (Dream ham), what are you going to eat?

Today's special

Today's what I want: I want spring back! Somebody stole it and brought back cold, freezing winter...
Today's clothing: My old LEE jeans (love them!), grey and black striped top from HM, belt from HM (god I need a new wardrobe!).

Today's makeup: mineral powder, concealer (to cover the huge pimple on my jaw that stubbornly doesn't want to go away), rouge and mascara (all from Clinique)
Today's happening: Lovisa is spending the night at my dad's and his wife. She was so excited this morning, packing her little bag and constantly asking when granddad was going to pick her up with his car!
Today's song: Talkin' Bout A Revolution with Tracy Chapman (oh, sweet childhood!)
Today's missing: I miss H. Of course!
Today's dumbest: to somehow try to ease my bad conscience for eating a pizza slice supper by adding about half a kilo broccoli. To my defense I have to say that Andréa ate about 1/3 of the broccoli, she loves broccoli.

Today's drug: as always way to much coffee with a lot of milk.

Today's best: a bath with Andréa. She looked all chocked when I undressed and got in the water with her and then I realized it was the first time ever we took a bath together, it was fun!

Today's mood: tired, oh so tired... 

Today's efficient: vacuumed the whole apartment, cleaned out old papers, payed bills and did some shopping - good girl!

Gossiping toddlers...

One of them can't really speak but today by the window they really sounded like two gossip girls!

When the Canadian is away...

We take the opportunity to eat strange Swedish meals...

Black pudding...

Andréa dissed this dish pretty hard and threw it all on the floor so I made her an omelet instead, Lovisa on the other hand ate 4 (!) slices!

Sad toddler...

I had to go and get a very sad Lovisa at the daycare today. She just got sad with no obvious reason and they had a hard time to comfort her so they decided to call me. She was really sad when I arrived, crying in my arms for a few minutes. On our way home she lightened up and after we arrived home she's been herself - happy and energetic. She's never sad like this, out of the blue, and I tried to ask her if anything happened at the daycare but she doesn't really give a good answer. My best guess would be that she misses her dad and need some tenderness... My little heart...

Back home, trying on clothes all happy...

How to get your panties full of sand...

I was just bending down to help Andréa with something when we where playing in the sandbox. My jeans are low cut and Lovisa was very fast with taking a hand full of sand and shove it in the tiny opening where the jeans ends and my butt begins... Well, I think you get the picture... To have your panties full of sand is nothing I recommend, very unpleasant!

 Andréa makes funny "butt traces" when she moves around in the sandbox

My rascal that has a new interest; throwing sand in small openings...

What a pro...

I thought I took the whole "being alone with the kids" situation fairly well until I talked to H yesterday and it turns out that he's not coming home on Saturday but Sunday. A whole night and a whole day more. That almost made me cry. It stresses me more than I want to admit to be alone. I've got a big nasty pimple on my chin, I'm so tired and I feel so alone even if I had my family over for a few days. What a pro...

Cousins...

Happiness is to see two cousins play, hug, argue and laugh together!

This seasons first icecream...

Today in the sun I enjoyed this seasons first ice cream. Since I'm a big chocolate fan I tried the new Magnum Infinity Chocolate and it was almost a bit too much chocolate, even for me!

PS Kids sleeping, kitchen clean, toys put away, cup of tea and soon off to bed - I'm a freakin' pro! DS

Bye H!

This morning we said goodbye to H since he's leaving for Montreal. He's going to be away for 8 days and I find it hard. But I really hope that he's going to have a great time seeing his family, sleeping, eating and relaxing! He deserves that.

Cuddling before saying goodbye...

We all left the same time this morning and as we walked towards the daycare we saw H standing on the platform waiting for the metro and Lovisa started to wave and said:"bon voyage, papa"! My little french girl...

A new world...

The sun and the warmth is really here! The whole world feels new, reborn and fresh. People are happy, kind and yes nice! New neighbors appears and actually talk to you. New cafes are popping up here and there and everything feels a little bit easier.

 On Wednesday the daycare was closed and Lovisa, Andréa and I had a whole day in the sun...

 To take a walk with Lovisa is to discover a new world...

 She's a strong girl, we walked several kilometers that day...

 Snack in the sun...

 "Mum, you shouldn't eat sand" and then she stuffs herself with it...

 Andréa still sleeps pretty good in the stroller...

And I really need new shoes...

Starting to count down...

In less than 2 days from now H is leaving for Montreal. He's going to be there for 8 days. 8 days! I'm slowly starting to feel the panic building up inside me, 8 days alone with 2 children still in their diapers, one that doesn't sleep very well during the nights and the other one that's in her worst "terrible two's"! Inhaling, exhaling. OK, it's me and these two crazy toddlers...

New "old" shoes...

These cute leather shoes is Andréa moving around in. I bought them for Lovisa when she was starting to take the first steps and they're so adorable!

The day after the incident...

I recieved an e-mail from the head of the daycare, Mrs A, this morning at 06:37 am. She wrote that this should not happen, she totally understand that I was upset and she's going to talk to the educators today and get back to me. When I left Lovisa at the daycare this morning Mrs A was alreday there and had already talked to the educators. They set up new routines regarding children that temporarily change departments and new routines regarding stand in educators. They are also going to discuss this more at a meeting tomorrow.

The educator that was responsible for Lovisas group when I arrived yesterday was very moved by the incident. She said to me that she honestly had no idea where Lovisa was, somebody else could easily have picked her up. I still tremble when I think about what happened and I can't help wondering how people that loses children keep on going. The children are the most precious thing that I have and that is what makes this so terrible, just the thought that something could have happened...

I'm feeling content that the daycare took the incident serious and that Mrs A acted fast. I didn't feel really comfortable leaving Lovisa this morning though... And that feeling is probably going to remain for quite some time...

The first daycare incident...

As usual I went to get Lovisa at the daycare today just before 3 pm. I walked in and found one of the educators with some children from Lovisas group sitting in a playroom.This educator normally doesn't work in Lovisas group but today they were understaffed. Two of the ordinary staff was sick and the third one quit early on Mondays. The educator didn't know where Lovisas was but she thought she was in the next department. The children apparently had been split up since the daycare was understaffed. Me and the educator went to the next department, where a stand in educator was alone, in charge of the whole group. She never heard off somebody called Lovisa. Lovisa was no where to be found. For a minute or two panic spread. I could feel a big lump of fear building up inside. I wanted to cry and scream and all I said was "Are you kidding me? You seriously don't know where my daughter is?", and I could see that they really didn't know and they where really getting scared too. Then another educator from the third, and last, department shouted to us that Lovisa was there. Oh, the relief! I ran to Lovisa, held her in my arms and I didn't want to let go. I didn't say much to the educators. I just wanted to hold on to Lovisa and get the hell out of there...

It was only a few minutes that we didn't know where she was. But it was the worst minutes of my life...

Now, when everything settled a bit, I wrote an e-mail to the head of the daycare, explaining the occurred, demanding an explanation and that they look over their routines when children change departments temporarily. I emphasized that I didn't want to blame anyone particular but I never want to experience this again. I also asked her to call me tomorrow. Now remains to face and talk to the educators tomorrow... I really want Lovisa to be safe there. And right now it doesn't feel that great...

Lovisa on our way home from daycare, totally unaware about my upset feelings...

Bottom line: she's OK, she was OK the whole time. I just have to make sure she's going to be OK for the rest of her life... Phew...

Check-up day!

Is it the crappy weather, mixed snow/rain and storm winds, that does it? I don't know but I'm so bloody tired today I could cry. But today is not a day for crying since Andréa had no more than two doctors appointments. The first one to the eye doctor to check out her little squint problem (that I find cute, but lets face it, when your a teenager it's probably not that cute anymore...). She's definitely squinting but hopefully it'll grow away, some do get worse and then they have to use a patch, glasses or in worst case have eye surgery. Time will tell. And then it was the usual 10 months check-up.  There everything was fine, she's a prefect little soon to be 11-months old. Always nice to hear...

Sunday brunch and more...

Today we had brunch at a restaurant, very nice to eat and make a mess that somebody else had to take care off! Lovisa was promised some icecream so after 2 pancakes with whipped cream and berries she got this:

Almost the size of her... Fortunately she only ate about 1/4, 

unfortunately I had to sacrifice myself over the rest...

Do I need to tell you she was on a sugar high the rest off the day? After stuffing ourselves with to much food (why do you always do that at a brunch buffet?) we went to the park to burn some energy...

 A happy Andréa, it's so fun now that she's bigger and can participate more!

One balloon makes the day!

Now we have 2 very tired kids,  already sleeping in their beds. And their tired parents are going to join them very, very soon...

Wolf...

Friday evening. H is at a hockey game and the children are sleeping. I'm sitting alone watching "Wolf". You know, the old movie where Jack Nicholson turns into a wolf. I've eaten a bowl off chips, some chocolate and had a glass off wine. Why can't I just go to bed and catch up on my sleep? Stupid me!

If Robert Redford would wash my hair...

I washed Lovisas hair yesterday evening. It's always a pain in the butt to do that. It starts good, I promise her that I wont have any water or schampoo in her eyes and then, after washing it, we come to the rinsing part and hell breaks loose. No matter how I try she gets hysteric. And I remember myself how I used to hate having my hair washed when I was little. It always ended up schampoo and/or water in my eyes and it felt like fire burning!

Now, as an adult, having my hair washed is one of my favorite things. It's like a little peace of heaven! When I was around 10 years old I had a major crush on Robert Redford after seeing "Out of Africa" way too many times... It was one particular scene me and my girlfriends watched over and over again (remember the old VHS tapes?). We wished we were Meryl Streep getting our hair washed by the dashing Robert Redford. He was so sexy and manly we could die! And actually this scene is still one of my favorite ones... And actually I still find Robert Redford very, very handsome... And actually Meryl Streep is damn beautiful too!

Have a great weekend!

Bye baby!

I get ridiculously proud when all of a sudden my baby starts to pull herself up to standing position whenever she gets the chance. And it's pretty convenient, if she's lucky she gets a treat from her sister...

Bye, bye baby - hello toddler!

Here we are...

Andréa and I are eating pasta bolognese in silence... Lovisa is finally at daycare and I hope she recovered enough. It's ironic how much I miss her when she's not here and when she's here she drives me to the edge of insanity... A little bit like when they were infants and slept a lot, when they were awake I wanted them to sleep and when they were sleeping I wanted them to wake up... Yes, I'm definitely a bit crazy...

Can I resign?

I'm fed up being home with two snotty kids! And they're pooping like crazy too! And I just ran out of baby wipes so each time they poop I have to put them in the bathtub and shower their bum. On top off this, Lovisa refused to take her nap today and now it's too late.  So no break for me and soon I probably will be dealing with a very whiny toddler...

Andréa's starting to realize that maybe it's not such a bad idea to crawl after all... And she's almost there! But still she's only going backwards and it makes her furious!

 Looking good!

 Really trying to go forward!

And so pissed off when she ends up in the corner once again...

Time to brew a big, fresh pot of coffee...

I forgot!

I left out a memorable thing that we did this weekend! H and me watched a movie (doesn't happen every weekend nowadays...). A terrible, heartbreaking but also thought-provoking story that still gives me the shivers. The "Incendies" is nothing for the weak hearted....

Monday tired...

Oh, what a weekend! These are a few things that we did:

• Went to the park
• Did the groceries
• Had a nice supper with my cousin and her family
• Listened and danced to the Swedish "melodifestivalen"
• Ate way to much chips (especially Lovisa...)
• Took a long walk to see animals and enjoy the nice spring weather at "Eolshälls 4H" farm

 If you don't have your own armchair you can always use your stroller...

 Beautiful Mälaren, on our way to "Eolhälls 4 H " farm

 Happiness!

Sometimes it's a bit boring being 10 months and being away from all the action...

Unfortunately Lovisa got her diarrhea back yesterday so she's home today too. And both Andréa and Lovisa has a bit of a cold. Starting to be a tiny bit challenging to stimulate them both at home... Gaaah!

I'm over doing it!

Ever since Rhodes -97 and a quite severe infection of  "Campylobacter jejuni" I get all weird when I cook chicken. I wash my hands 10 times at least, I wash the kitchen tools 5 times at least but I can't help feeling a little bit worried... And it's even worse after I got the children! I wouldn't forgive myself if they got some chicken related infection... Brr... But now it's ready, it's Friday and I wish everyone a very nice weekend!

Childproofing...

At its best:

Tasting the plug, as soon as she gets the chance...

Babies...

When one is awake the other one is sleeping... A tip for other struggling stay-at-home-parents with sick kids is to get the documentary "Babies". Lovisa is totally addicted and can sit still for an hour, completely fascinated! It's a beautiful documentary that follows the first year with four different babies around the world. From Mongolia to Namibia to San Francisco to Tokyo. Here's the trailer:

Diarrhea in the house!

I thought we had our fair share of stomach flu this season but yesterday I had to run and get a pooping Lovisa at the daycare. Apparently the diarrhea was spreading like a fire among the kids and several more had to go home. It seems, thank god, to be a mild form of gastro... She only pooped 1 time today (so far!) and her general condition seems pretty OK, or what do you think?

Waiting for the pancakes!

No more diarrhea now, please!

10 months after delivery...

Today I'm feeling like a pile of shit. So tired after yet another more or less sleepless night. So I'm going to cheer this post up with some postpartum pictures, probably the last ones because I'm starting to recognize this body of mine! Physically that is, mentally I'm totally different and will probably always be. 

The skin around my stomach and pelvis is a bit looser still and my boobs are smaller and more saggy. But considering that this almost 34-year old body been through two pregnancies and 18 months of breastfeeding I think it's in an OK shape. 

I just need a couple of years of sleeping and it'll all be good!

Exactly one year ago...

It's exactly one year ago I came to Sweden, very pregnant, to do my dissertation and to give birth to a little baby girl. I remember it was so icy and snowy, the first thing I did was to fall on my butt. Today the sun is shining, the snow is almost gone and spring is in the air! It's so much that happened since that snowy day one year ago and although time passes fast it feels like a whole eternity has passed...

 One year ago she was still inside me, here she is today eating an omelet!

Today's view from our balcony, just a tiny bit of snow left in the small forest